we do not see things as they are; we see things as we are.


Thoughts, Ideas, Experiences and Emotions from Quandaries of the Author

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Leadership Apex 2006 - my realization and reflection...

this is my 3rd and last time to attend leadership training seminar, how i wish it will not be the last but xiempre, i want to graduate naman!

well, anyway, though i was not able to participate in the activity last saturday, still... some realization and reflection poof out of my head...

the goal of summit 04-my first leadership training, apex 05 and apex 06 is to produce a good leader...

but for my own view, there's a stigma attached to it, and it was for the participant to be able to suit for any position on CIHSC, HRMS or TLS,

positive? negative?

reactions i got from being a participant for the 3rd time in a leadership training are mostly... jokes that has a double meaning for me, such as "pang 3rd mo na to, kelan ka ba ggraduate?", "ang tanda mo na, nandito ka pa rin", "bakit naman pang 3rd mo na, kamusta ka naman?!?" and "hindi ka ba nahihiya? yung mga dating kasama mo, facilitator mo na!?"

what do you think? di ba ako nasasaktan? feeling down? feeling small? or loosing my confidence?

honestly... i'm eating my pride na... which is not the usual me..., ma pride ako, sensitive sa jokes and i have lot's of insecurities in life... It is somehow hard for me and must admit that medyo sampal sa mukha ko yun.

but parang i'm not affected at all? i'm affected... actually, i've scrutinzed my self already... bakit nga ba i'm still here, not moving on, stagnant? bakit napag iiwanan ako, did i learned something ba talaga?

before pa nag announce ng date of apex, i'm having a second thought of whether i'm going to participate or not, i know... somehow, my personality and leadership skill will be in a state of uncertainty, my credibility as a leader will be questioned, i know that somebody will ask me why i'm still a participant given the fact that most of my co-participants in previous trainings had a position in CIHSC, HRMS and TLS already... but on the other hand, trainings/seminars like this is what i like, i'm gonna learn something new, i'm gonna meet new people and this is my last apex, i don't want to miss it!

i have to eat my pride, this is what i want, i have to face the consequences!

on the first night, Sr. Mel is the speaker, the same speaker i met in leadersihp summit and leadership apex05, i was happy to see him again, i know his happy to see me too but i can see to his eyes that he was surprised by my presence there, though he said that being a reapeter in a seminar like that is not bad but... i know... his not expecting a 3rd time repeater... on that time, something is forming in my mind anyway he has new activities to share and some old ones with different approach.

unfortunately i wasn't able to participate in the activities happened on saturday for i need to go to school, i have class and exam in managerial accounting... we have a function in catering..., wait... i have lot's of errands to do... why and how did i still go the seminar?! what's my priority? well.. as i've said, i won't miss it!, so i decided to do all i need to do before leaving, i told m'm aure about apex, and i made a deal to her, if i and macy can't produce a speaker for our function by friday, i will not push through, then she agreed to it, fortunately... macy did found one, in managerial accounting, i decided that i will take the exam kahit di muna ako mag class, if the council will not allow me to leave the seminar, i won't go there, fortunately again, they allowed me and that's it! you tell me what did i priopritized first and did i manage my time well?

on the night of saturday, though i missed a lot, i was able to hear few parts of the speech of Sr. Lucky (speaker for that day a long with Sr. Leo) about being a leader, to cut it short being leader is not about you, its about what you can do, what's youre purpose and derailing of your goal or loosing the passion for your work means fall of your career... *Poof!* that's it! that's what i'm thingking of since friday night!

2nd yr ako when i became our class president, everyone will agree that during my term that year i did excellent job! i gained appreciations and acknowledgements. as a class president, automatically i will be a committee, but why did i engage myself voluntarily in different activties? it is because i promised to Maan that i will help and accompany her, she was then the treasurer of SC. preparing for CIH awards night04, while doing my task with Glenda, a 4th yr committee and class president as well, talked about being a committee, i asked her, why is she just committee knowing she has a potential of good leader, i mean theres nothing wrong about being a committee but if you know someone who can lead very well and will work for the benefit of their co-students, you would like him or her to lead you not instead of people in position that the priority of their work is to gain more fame and more achievements, she just replied, "i wan't to help, but i don't need to be in position to do that and
besides, i have lot's of curricular activities to do and i'm having a hard time doing it and it's my priority, if time permits me, i will help the officers. why commit your self if you're going to put your priority in uncertainty, the reason why i am sent to school is to study, to become and do the works of a student leader is a windfall" i just then replied ok. when the term of the incumbient officers is about to end, they are recruiting for the new set of offciers, running for president, Maan, she ask me if i can be in her line up, i dunno if she mean it or she'z just running out of option but i told her i want... really really want but i don't know if i can..., and i'm failed at accounting a, which running student to be an officer must not have a failed grades. she just look for another.

in 3rd yr, Maan then won as the CIHSC president, and it is my second term as our class president, again obliged to be a committee, but this time... i work not for Maan, but to our fellow students, why? because i've learned that committee is not an officer-ass-kisser, not the shadow of officers, not their servant and not just their friend, committee are the persons who are commited in serving the fellow students with the guidance of the plans of the officers and with the care of the officers. i was too attached it, i even engage my self to every activity as possible and that made me to be a head committee, i enjoyed it so well to the point that i forgot my puprpose in school, i have lots of classes that i did not attended just to do my work as a committee... obvious i failed again, this time... Managerial accounting and i dropped accounting b bago pa ako bamagsak. as a class president... i'm a looser! i neglected my responsibilities because i put first my work as a committee kesa sa work as a class president and personal disputes affected my emphaty to put prior in leading my class, i did not hesitate to loose friends in classroom for that time for i don't care about it, i spend most of the time in CIHSC office(now, i regret for some but "not to all"), i lost many things, grades, friends, recognitions, appreciations and most of all i lost drive to work productively, i created aggravation out of my self! then it came to my mind... did i enjoyed serving students so much that made me attached it? or did i enjoyed the fame. then suddenly everything Glenda told me year ago flash blacked to mysenses. i made a sudden and unexpected decision, i quit as committee. i did not get my award as a committee of the year.

the whole summer i tried to rekindle and re-compose my self, but i have summer classes, i have many things to do first. so just set it aside.

Now in my 4th yr, surprisingly i was elected as the class president for the 3rd consecutive term, and this time i'm the class president of 2 sections, obivously... i will become a committee again, but it didn't bothers me at all, i will just simply not attend the meetings. but everything i planned falls into pieces, i read this book entitled "The Kite Runner" by Khaled Hosseini, but ofcourse i will not tell the story but i will emphasize the line that gave a big impact to everyone who read it form all over the globe including moi "There is a way to be good again", Rahim Khan tells Amir. Indedeed, there is. However bad we were. Now i'm in a process of healing my self, bringning back the old me.

this is an open message for anyone who will read it;

being a leader is not about you.
it's not about what you will gain, it's not about fame,
it's not about for achievements
being a leader is about being a human,
who commits mistakes, but compensates to it
serving people with open heart
knows their priorities in life
decides for what is just and right
you don't need to be an officer to be leader,
we, ourselves are leaders in our own leagues
we don't need to do incredible things
we don't need to work drastically
we don't need to be a martyr
for me, the term "example or symbol"
doesn't fit for a leader
we're just humans, we can't be an example or a symbol
we commit mystakes though we compensates,
mystakes of the past must not repeat.
and there are no simillar person
those terms are ideaology of leader
but what we need is a realistic leader
for me the right is term is
inspire people to create productful person out of themselves
inspire them to do great things
inspire them to lessen their mystakes
in inspiration we are able to accept our flaws and others,
we and other voluntarily tries to eliminate it.
in inspiration we do things happily, with acceptance
and with love.
in inspiration we are not obliged to do things were not
for the sake of the eyes of others.
in inspiration given the fact that we are imperfect,
willingly, we let our imperfection fades out.
in inspiration we became a human not a robot,
we do things willingly and not forced or systematically
in inspiration, reality bites softly
for we know that were still humans
we are aware of imperfection
in inspiration, example or symbol
is an ideolgy,
it's something hard to do, when it bites us
it causes pain and dissapointments
we push ourselves and others to do things
though it is for good,
things that are made forcely
will not last for long time
in cooking, if we forced to cook the meat by heating up the pan high
the meat will be raw inside but burned outside
but if we take time to cook it in moderation
and let it cook throuhly
it will turn out to be delectable, the meat will be even
no raw, no burned
just and even

Saturday, July 29, 2006


Kaninang madaling araw, our activity ended around pass 12, since i have 12 or more room mates sa Indang, nag antayan pang maligo, i took a shower maybe around 1 or 2am and also because Kerby and Maan is in the seminar too, we take the opportunity to have bonding moments, we decided to occupy yung room nila maan since all of her room mates are still awake, nung nag start kami ni Kerby pag usapan ang love life namin, nakinig ang mga hitad! they laugh.. maybe because they were freakouted or perhaps culture shocked! LOL! they listen to our stories the whole time, me and Kerby debated for few things coz we have differences in views and experiences parang Y speak according to Kerby! LOL! sa sobrang pagod siguro, nag stop muna kami mag kwentuhan, then bigla nalang nag tulugan yung mga lower lever, tapos nun mga 4 or more nakatulog ang kerby, tapos sumunod na kami ni Maan, i tried to sleep but nahihirapan ako, tapos i felt the usual na mababaw na tulog ko, well... you know what does that mean naman di ba, but when i heard that some of the girls are already awake and take note, finaflash light kami! well anyway, na alala ko bigla na nag alarm pala ko para magising yung mga boys kaya bumalik ako sa room namin, surprisingly, gising na sila nd some i had taken a bath na... i'm too late! LOL! pero ng chineck ko ang time! HALA! it's just 5am! OMG! and Maan told me that we stopped talking around 4:30, I THOUGHT NAKATULOG AKO, BUT INFACT I NEVER SLEPT AT ALL PALA...


Sori, ngayon lang me nag ka time... pero sa saunday(tomorrow) na ako mag popost ng mga anik-anik coz i'm in a training seminar for 3 days (2nd day ngaun), sa next posting ko na lang kkwento mga kakwentuhan sa buhay! CIAO!

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Sobbing.. HUHUHUHU!


ano ba?! anong petsa na!?! were craming already!
tama na!
(mag patugtog ba ng kapag tumibok ang puso?!?)


Why they didn't allow me to take other accounting subject in replacement of managerial! darn it! i haven't took the exam pa! I'm not comfortable with the time and proffessor! GRRR! and Wala pang Speaker for the function sa Saturday! Arrggh! Wala pa kami nasisimulan sa Faci! for God sake! HELP! neeed help so badly!

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Puerto Gallera Or Boracay?

Ok! most of you would choose bora, but heres the scenario: we have lot's of projects and it is all expensive and it is hard to do, Specifically Faci! But we need to unwind.. everyone does! and we want a good vacation!

Fee: Bora-P10k, Gallera-P5k
Destination: Bora-Queen's/Station3, Gallera-Nirvana

Heres a thing... SPOT THE DIFFERENCE
I need your comments and reaction!



Unwritten By: Natasha Bedingfield

I am unwritten,
Can't read my mind
I'm undefined
I'm just beginning
The pen's in my hand
Ending unplanned
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lipsdrench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
Oh, oh, oh
I break tradition
Sometimes my tries
Are outside the lines
We've been conditioned
To not make mistakes
But I can't live that way
oh, oh
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lipsdrench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lipsdrench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lipsdrench yourself in words unspoken
Live you life with arms wide open
Today is where you book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwrittenthe rest is still unwritten

Old School of Posing

Simply Adorable


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Tuesday, July 25, 2006

I gave bath to my 5 babies

i haven't given them a bath for about 3 weeks or more, i know... i'm kinda irresponsible for that, but it is because of hectic sheadule, also i haven't brought them to a groomer for more than a month, i have lots of expenses in school... No More excuses!
Still Filty and Dirty


Who's Horny? Who's In Heat? Are You?!
Do You Feel The Urge?
Move Over Katrina Halili, Here's The Real FHM Babe!

Two Consecutive Days-No Classes

Can't deny that i'm happy with it and i'm hoping for longer... but... the people that are directly affected are seriously suffering... Damn! am i really that bad?! coz even i know that there are people in danger... i'm hoping for the typoon to stay a little while... wel... ok, i made up my mind... SIGE NA... sana mawala na yung bagyo... (labas sa ilong?) de, hoping na sana nga mawala na yung bagyo... SERIOUS! hope to die! (wag muna now!)

Monday, July 24, 2006

School Work

Damn! anung petsa na?! wala pa rin kaming speaker for our function sa saturday. ala pang nasisimulan para sa faci namin.... sigh! Gosh! Do i need miracle na ba?


By: Diana Degarmo
Sometimes I get emotionalS
ometimes I do some stupid things
Sometimes I say what I should just keep inside
Sometimes I'm sad about everything
Sometimes I'm mad and break some things
Sorry times 10 but you just got in the way
Don't give up now running away
I won't hurt you sometimes I'm just a pain
And that's the way it is
That's just the way I am
Sometimes I feel like crying
Laying down and dying
That's when I need you
Laughing's always easy, but sometimes I'm just scared you'll leave me
That's when I feel emotional
You say I'm just impossible
Totally unpredictable
I'm just a girl get use to it
No big deal
You can't change me why would you try?
I'm no angel but I can make you smile
And that's the way it is
That's just the way I am
Sometimes I feel like crying
Laying down and dying
That's when I need you
Laughing's always easy but, sometimes I'm just scared you'll leave me
That's when I feel emotional
Don't give up
I won't hurt you
Oh, sometimes I'm just a pain
And that's the way it is
That's just the way I am
That's when I need you
Laughing's always easy but, sometimes I'm just scared you'll leave me
That's when I feel oh yeah
That's when I need you
Sometimes I get emotional
That's just the way I am
Sometimes I feel like crying
Laying down and dying
That's when I need you
Laughing's always easy but sometimes I'm just scared you'll leave me
That's when I feel emotional


Life is all about competition...
But just whom are you competing with?

Are you a better person than you were yesterday?
Can you perform your work better than yesterday?
Do you love your God and your family more than yesterday?
Are you making the world a better place today than you did yesterday?
If you can answer yes to questions like these, you have soundly defeated the competition.

Can't Sleep

more than 1 week na ko di makatulog ng maaga, ang hirap dalawin ng antok, hirap mag adjust, may classes pa ko everymorning, thank God there will be no classes later, should i be thankful? e bagyo nanaman, sigh! I feel lucky for me, i nees rest naman kahit paminsanminsan, but I feel sorry whoever will be the victims of these typhoon... just pray!

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Almost there!

konti na lang matatapos ko na, sigh! if i could only still remeber the tags and everything, mas matatapos ko to ng mas maaga and mas maganda... sigh!

Friday, July 21, 2006

New Look!

hope that many people would like the new look of my blog but i'm not yet done, i will still have changing and adding to do, i'm not yet contented the way it look pa kasi. i'm tired na kasi of plain... and black.... and since i'm into re-building (construction site?) myself... bringing back the old me w/ new achu-churva... i'm painting my life with lots of color again... yah know... OPLAN IBALIK ANG MAKULAY NA MUNDO! (duh-uh! corny ng slogan ko!?!) keber?! basta i'm happy! mwhaa! that's for now (for this time lang, coz am na pala! gonna be back later)

SIGNING OFF------- ZZZZZZzzzzzzz.........

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Hindi ako nakapag exam sa Resort

kainis! i've waisted my time, i've waiste 100+ of my allowance for nothing! i have exam at 8:00-9:00am sa Rizal pero tinamad ako coz HONESTLY speaking wala pa kong natututunan dun, ask my classmates why, and nagtitipid ako kasi next e exam ko is 4:00-5:00pm which is yung Resort, though tinatamad na rin akong pumasok, i decicded to go on, 2:30 umalis na ko ng house kasi commute lang ako, nakarating ako sa van around 2:50 something, though my "mga" tao na sa van, 6 sila pang 7 ako, obviously we have to wait pa for more passenger, after few minutes lang may dumating na 1 pa, around 3:10 nadagdagan kami ng isa, still and obvious naman talaga di pa kami makakaalis, mga 3:35 na, naiinip na kami, one of the passenger ask the barker kung di pa ba kami aalis, instead na sumagot naningil nalang ng bayad, nag bayad naman ako, 3:40 may dumating na 1 pang pasahero, we thought na aalis na, pero sabi ng barker kahit 1 nalang, nag isip isip nako... (of course! sometimes i am capable of thinking! hehehe) 3:50 (tagla noh!) i decided na bumaba nalang and i ask the barke for my money, nag tanung siya na may exam daw ba ko? sabi ko, oo... sana kaso wala na ako aabutan, abay nag tanung pa pano na yan? gusto ko sana sumagot na problema ko na yun kahit kaw may kasalanan, e xiempre... nag babagong buhay, nginitiaan ko nalang at umuwi na ko...

Why English, Why Not Tagalog?

Obviously all my previous postings here in my blog are in English language, i am aware that my English is somehow monotonous (well, on the other hand, admit it or not i'm improving), the reason why i kept on reitereting it coz i know i need to improve it, once i am fluent in english... oral and written, i can even write short poems and essay but as time goes by without practicing it becomes dull and rusty, therefore i am practicing my English through writing and posting in my blog, so people who can see the errors can correct me and i'm trying to construct longer postings because since i want share stories and i don't want people who reads it think of it as unexiting and bland i am somehow forced or obliged to learn more english terms.... but now... since i know i improve though not much, i can say that i'm a little bit confident with my english speaking skill... therefore... bakit hindi tagalog naman? i mean i can speak english naman talaga, nabobo lang ng saglit but my tagalog... barok din! most of the time, well... like now i am writing and thinking in TAG-LISH, hindi ako nag papaka sosyal or conotic but it is a reality na not just me, most of people in my generation are either fluent in english or tag-lish, sige nga... if you can tell me someone na who can speak tagalog straightly w/o buckling, no foreign adopted word... and can pronounce it correctly, papalakpakan ko kayo! i can say that because until now we can't speak a whole tagalog sentence, oo nga given na yung mga words na adopted from chinese, spanish or what so ever na nakapunta dito sa pilipinas, pero do we have our own version ng mga words na iyon? dun pa nga lang sometimes we can't justify a vlear answer then now some word are being change, i forgot what they called it pero instead of using the traditional words, they are using english words pero they're just changing the spelling... sige nga... ngayon nyo i justify sa akin na we have to speak tagalog straightly and correctly dahil nasa pilipinas tayo... (na hindi ka magtutunog makata, though theres nothing wrong about it, pero ikaw? kaya mo maging makata araw araw?) e kung kahit sino nga ngayon di pa magawa yun binabago pa, e iniba lang naman ang spelling, oo nga mas madadalian tayo dun pero... but in my opinion nawawala na ang distinction ng ating kultura, sabagay... kahit mga lolo't lola ng mga lolo't lola natin e ibat ibang terms at words na ang gamit from different foreigners... i'm just wondering kung may sarili ba talaga tayong dialect or language? yung mga ancestors natin nung pre-spanish colonization own words na nila ang gamit nila o galing parin sa foreigners and migrants? much better if someone can answer me, but whatever it is... starting now i'm gonna consider tagalog terms in my future postings na, pure man kahit masyadong makata, taglish man kahit parang pa sosyal....

My Moment...

It is clear to me now that it is the right time to atone for everything, to recollect my old self and to make things right, I need to heal myself and let go of my grudge.

(i don't care whatever you want to say or thingking of... just don't bother me at this momet, ok!?!)

Monday, July 17, 2006

a day... Today!

(stupid and funny experience) i went to glorietta to see maan, while in bus station, i'm confused where to ride, cubao or lawton, coz the last time i went to makati commuting was 3rd yr h.s., i always go there in a car, what i remeber is cubao-ibabaw, but i only see cubao, so i doubt if i can go there easily coz i don't know anything bout cubao, i planned to ride lawton and i will just ride lrt or mrt (whatever) and i will go to ayala station, but i'm hasitating coz i don't ride lrt or mrt alone, i txted my brother to ask which to choose he said i should look for cubao-ibabaw, but i can't find any sign board so i just ask, luckily i found one, on the way my brother told me that i should brought i jacket coz its raining, when i got of the bus... well... i'm partially wet when i entered the mall, i txted maan if what time we will meet, she said 2pm, i got there 1pm so i'm gona wait for an hour, i went to power books to look for a good book, for 30 mins i'm just there looking and looking but found nothing i like, for just few mins left i decided to stroll in the mall but before 2 i txtd maan if where is she already but she replied she can't find a ride so i still need to wait for another 30mins, i decided to eat first then stroll again, i saw this cute guy that fortunately we crossed each others path for more than 5-6 times, so i decided to follow him but maan txted me that shez near already, so i just went to national bookstore to look for a book, within a few minutes maan arrived, i asked her if shez hungry, when she said yes i accompanied her to food court but she refused to eat if i will not eat, even my stomach is still full, i still manage to eat some, after few minuste joan txtd maan that she will go there also, we waited for a couple of minutes i even felt that i want to pee but i didn't mind it, when she arrived with ezra we stroll to look for something she want to eat, when she decided to eat at tokyo tokyo, i told them that i won't eat anymore, while joan is ordering ezra left already for she needs to go home early, while joan is eating we chat for a few minutes but before joan is finished jupert txted me that his on the way to us, since it is pass 5pm already even jupert isn't there yet we decided that we will go home already but before we get out of tokyo tokyo jupert arrive, we told him that were going home already but he is planning to buy a supporter first so we accompanied him, on the way out maan go down to the escalator but we told her that were going to take the opposite door so we go straight ahead and there where we go down, on the way out we saw maan and told her to cross the road to go to us, since it rained a while ago the road is wet, we decided to help joan to look for a cab but we can't find a vacant, i told them to go to greenbelt coz there is near cab station there but they said it is far and their feet is tired, so we waited for a cab but no one is stopping so we decided to look in edsa road, but every cab we see is occupied, looking for a cab we reached dusit, the bottom of my pants is wet already and since i'm wearing sandals obviously my feet is wet and sticky, we walk for a cuople of miles, for almost 30 mins we still can't find a cab, so we decided to go to a cab station outside glorietta, when we got there there is a long line and few cabs are there so joan decided to take a bus with us and shez gonna went of to... i forget that place, we head back to edsa, we accompany maan first to look for a bus heading dasma but we can't find, we walk for few miles until we reached the place we walked on a while ago, desperate to go home early and dissapointed to can't find a bus bound to dasma, she just took bus heading baclaran, when she got in we look for bus bound to pacita, luckily we took a ride easily, we sat on the last raw because it is still vacant, while chatting a cute guy ride the bus we are into, jupert is teasing me because he sat next to me, but i didn't mind it coz i'm txting and telling them something(but he is really cute and smells good) jupert paid for our fare, the conductor of the bus handed me a changed since i'm not aware i reached for it but i fastly i realize that i didn't pay anything and jupert's change was already given, to my surprise i just handed it to the guy next to me, and it was his, because of that, i can't look to him or even to his side, when joan went off i move closer to jupert, damn! even if i want to move closer to that guy i can't because i'm to shy to do it and because of what i did, when we reached alabang many passengers are going down so jupert told me to move seat closer to the door but i told him to wait until everyone whose going down is out already but he stood up and move, so i followed him, when we sat down i told him that we should waited for few more seconds since the cute guy is also going down there, but it's too late already, on san pedro, i felt wanting to pee again realizing that i was feeling it since we are still in glorietta, when we reached pacite we rushed to jollibee so i can pee, when i finished peeing jupert and i parted ways, when i'm about to ride a jeep it moved so i ran to catch it, when i reached olivarez i took a tricycle ride, when i got home, i've waited for seconds for the driver to give me change but the driver said i paid exactly, and i think i did... well... that's it.... STUPID ME! HEHEHEHE!


i bought an audio cd of Kite Runner for almost P1,7K!


Zanjoe Marudo @ Bench Fever Fashion Show

Sunday, July 16, 2006

before he became famous

Hippie? Bad Boy? even before Zanjoe became popular he is nice talaga in person, he has natural good looks (does the picture said so?), we have common friends, saw him in a party in 2003 or 2004 pa but were not even friends, we're not even formally introduced to each other (what's the point nga naman, girl ba ko?!)... can't blame him if he didn't recognize me nung nag shoot sila ni Anne sa school, nag pa picture na lang ako! Tarush! Malandi ako e! Ahihihi!


Zanjoe Marudo MY HUBBIE!?! (in my dreams! ahihihi!)

More of Kite Runner

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Kite_Runner - visit this site for infos regarding the book

Khaled Hosseini

Khaled Hosseini, author of Kite Runner

official site: http://www.khaledhosseini.com/

The Kite Runner by: Khaled Hossein

In my 19 yrs of breathing in this world, i'm not ashamed to admit that after so many years that i learned how to read it is just now that i finnished a novel cover-to-cover and i fully understand w/c i can narrate to anyone whishes me to.(but ofcourse i would advised them to buy a copy to understand it more clearly, for what will comes out my mouth is how i perceived it)

I've learned about this book just a week ago in a column in a newspaper, the columnist emphasized that this book is about redemption and will teach us that There is a way to be good again, as was also stated clearly in the book.

I suddenly had this feeling of urge to buy it, thinking that if its about redemption and bringing back the goodness in our heart, it may help or atleast gives me an idea to understand my situation i have right now, Guilt of so many things... but for me the root of my problem was i let the people around me and the enviroment i'm embracing to make me a STONE HEARTED PERSON.

I immediately rushed to the nearest bookstore that day but unfortunately the book is out of stock, in the suceedding days whenever i have time to scout bookstore i tried to look for a copy but again it is out of stock, i may ask for a reservation of a copy but i have to wait for 1-2 weeks before i can have it, i simply give up and ask my mom to look in behalf of me, she also look for several book stores but unfortunately it is out of stock as well, one of the clerk told her that it is a fast selling book and they had long lists of reservation, though i am a little bit dissapointed it doesn't stop me from wanting to grab a copy instead i convinced my self to wait patiently and wait for my turn to have one.

Not until yesterday night, from work, my mom handed me a copy, and i didn't ask anything how she had it and or how much it cost her i just simply grabbed it and went up to my room, but since i just got home also, at 12 in the midnight i took a warm bath and joined first my brother and parents in a little discussion, pass 2:00am a little bit tired of the topic i went upstairs and there i grabbed my book and lie down on bed, though a little weary i started to read it, at first i planned to read it until a fall to sleep but the what happened is the opposite one, i never felt sleepy, i can't help but to find out happened right after each chapters, at most of it made me cry (sorry, i'm a true blood tear jerker) i just told my self that will put the book down before the sun rises up but w/o noticing anything i just heard the rooster crows and the sun is peeking up already few chapters left i decided to finnish the book, minutes after minutes i'm feeling sleepy already but i never stopped reading for i was stunned for what i learned and so Amir learned about his Baba.

to cut it off it is pass 8:00am when i finnished the book, though my eyes are falling down and my body is shaking for i awake for more tha 24hours already but i can't sleep for the impact of the book made me stunned a while

My eyes are swell a bit because of tears, my heart is pounding so fast for the pain, guilt and deep symphaty i felt for the characters and the scenarios... i was been too attached to everything and every one in the book, especially to Hassan, my heart is like been suffocated or was been crushing tightly with a hard fist because of everything he was been through, still he remained a good soul, as well as to Amir, having a long time guilt that he made big changes not only to his life but to the people loved him uncoditionally, i feel pitty for Baba and Ali's situtation and ofcourse to poor Sohrab... i feel bad for he was rob out of childhood everyone deserve, to Kabul, i think it is the most helpless of all, witnessed to lots of joys, friendships and love that can speak how it is a great place used to be and suddenly the mute witness to all sorrows and blood shedding that makes it a terrifying place, from something to nothing. My mind maid me restless for lots of realization such how envy, jealous and greed can blind and harm people, how a lie can changed peoples fate, how traditions and beliefs imprison enormous number of people, how war can destroy infrastructures, countries, family, life and dreams, how pride brings out the bad side of you, how simple childhood joys became a symbolic to adulthood, how struggling pushes as to our limits, how life can suddenly inverted and how mistakes haunts us.

What ever you call the style or type of writing skill of Khalled Hosseini, the author, what matters to me is in the book, he made the characters realistic which i had fell in love and connect easily, cry with every tormenting situation they had. He introduced us to Afghanistan that once it is not what used to know now and the quote "there is a way to be good again" explains that it is never too late for us to redeem ourselves, to correct our mistakes even how bad we used to be, Nobody is perfect. He also showed that Genuine and Innocent Friendship doesn't choose race, sex, appearance, color, social status, intellectuality and personality, it is matter of Acceptance and Love.

I know all about guilt, i had onced breached a lot of people's trust and broke their hearts in the process because of my rebellion and sheer stupidity that when i finally came to my sense I still suffered the consequences of guilt. The memory of you misdeed stays with you long after you are forgiven.

"Nobody is perfect" is an over used adage that is useful to remember when we start judging with someone who has done something ugly to their past. cosequently, i learned from the book forgiveness, that when you forgive someone of their most terrible sin it somehow redeems you from your own, or at least offers your tortured soul a much needed respite.

At some point of our lives there are events that will define who we are, whethers it's a decision we make or an action we do. It will transform us and we live with it's consequences. but ofcourse the book proves that there is always a way to atone for our sins, "There is a way to be good again", Rahim Khan tells Amir. Indedeed, there is. However bad we were.

I just hope that after these realizations i will be able to apply it to my daily life, now i have answer for my problems... even filled with guilt, i must say that my pride is still flagging, i don't know if i'm ready to atone and forgive... i know i can someday but i don't know exactly when...

I'm assuring you that you won't regret for even a single centavo of when you purchased this book. for a person who has same problem i have, this can be a self-help book for you, for a person who love novels, w/o a doubt you will syphatized to the characters, for a person who just looks for something to read, this one will widen your perceptions.

Saturday, July 15, 2006


Victoria or Viktoria, one of my classmate in MIS, shez so cool and friendly.

Bad Day!

Daniel Powter
Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on
You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on
Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on
You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
(Oh.. Holiday..)
Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong
So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
Had a bad day
Had a bad day
Had a bad day
Had a bad day
Had a bad day

Friday, July 14, 2006

Kubo Peeps!

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Mind Games Dogs Play With Humans

Mind Games Dogs Play With Humans

1. After your humans give you a bath, Don't Let them Towel Dry you! Instead, run to their bed, jump up and dry yourself off on the sheets. This is especially good if it's right before your humans' bedtime.

2. Act like a convicted criminal. When the humans come home, put your ears back, tail between your legs, chin down and act as if you have done something really bad. Then, watch as the humans frantically search the house for the damage they think you have caused. (Note: This only works when you have done absolutely nothing wrong.)

3. Let the humans teach you a brand new trick. Learn it perfectly. Then the humans try to demonstrate it to someone else, stare blankly back at the humans. Pretend you have no idea what they're talking about.

4. Make your humans be patient. When you go outside to go 'pee', sniff around the entire yard as your humans wait. Act as if the spot you choose to go pee will ultimately decide the fate of the earth.

5. Draw attention to the human. When out for a walk always pick the busiest, most visible spot to go 'poo'. Take your time and make sure everyone watches. This works particularly well if your humans have forgotten to bring a plastic bag.

6. When out for a walk, alternate between choking and coughing every time a strange human walks by.

7. Make your own rules. Don't always bring back the stick when playing fetch with the humans. Make them go and chase it once in a while.

8. Hide from your humans. When your humans come home, don't greet them at the door. Instead, hide from them, and make them think something terrible has happened to you. (Don't reappear until one of your humans is panic-stricken and close to tears).

9. When your human calls you to come back in, always take your time. Walk as slowly as possible back to the door.

10. Wake up twenty minutes before the alarm clock is set to go off and make the humans take you out for your morning pee. As soon as you get back inside, fall asleep. (Humans can rarely fall back asleep after going outside, this will drive them nuts!)

My Super Dog


The Notebook

I've watched it several times but until now, i keep on weeping my tears... as if i've watched it for the first time, but who wouldn't? Every one wants their love story to last forever... even at your last breathe you want to be with the one you truly love no matter what you've been through... sigh! When will be my love story be like that? (dreaming?)


Bien que nous ne nous connaissons pas personnellement et tout je sais de vous êtes votre nom, quand je vois, vous toujours faites me rougir, vous êtes comme un ange m'a commandé pour rapporter mon sourire, juste en vous voant, mon jour semble être complet. Merci pour cette façon simple d'acclamation que m'augmente… même vous ne le savez pas.

Martin Peñaflor


whew! atlast! a free day!

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Just For Laugh!

well... i need to lighten up for some time, to forget my problems, here our picture taken yesterday. Mich, Macy, Ate Janice and me!

Monday, July 10, 2006

Trece Martires and the Tres Muchachos

What a start of the week! i woke up 6:00am, rushing to take a bath beacuse i have to get to school at around 7, at school, i've waited for more than 15 minutes, when Nelo and JC arrive, we headed immediately to Trece Martires to avoid long lines in getting land title for our project, we arrived around 8am, since it was Monday, a Flag ceremony is on going, we tried to get into the office so that we will be first in the line but the guard didn't allow us for no one can assist us for everyone is in the flag ceremony and going to watch the awarding of a local band, so we waited for the employess to get in, 9:30 when got inside, we were told by the guard in Talaan ng mga Lupain that we need to secure a copy of tax declaration of the owner, though the appropriate office is just in the opposite room, we still waited for the employees to settle down, many people are already there, waiting to be assisted, when we get our turn, there we are advised to get the name of the land owner, though our proffessor told us that we can have it photo copied even without the name of the owner, still we decided to follow the right procedure, we ask Otep to go to the care taker of the land if he could ask for the name, around 10:15am while waiting for the result we took our breakfast and after few minutes i called Otep, unfortunately he only got a name Atty. Baustitsta, though we know it's going to be a useless info, we tried to use it, but of course... its no help, before 11 we decided to go to the municipal hall of Dasmarinas, still... no luck for us, we divert our decision into findong a new location, while on our way, Nelo stopped over to a Barangay hall, luckly he knew someone there that might help us to get the name of the owner of the land we are targetting, well a luck atlast, we got the name of the owner, Macario Bautista, but since it is already pass 11, to avoid lunch break in trece, we decided to go to school first while letting time pass, there we learned why the caretaker didn't tell Otep the full detail is because the husband of the caretaker had a gap with Otep's father, 12pm we head back to trece, we are all excited, when we arrived there, long lines greeted us but it's ok we have the key to what we need, and when we gave them the name, waiting patiently and when my name is called to talk to them, we though where gonna have problem again because the owner have lots of properties in the same area, unsure to our decision we picked the bigger lots in the area we want after processing we are told to pay first everything the transaction needed, as soon as we recevived the receipt we showed it to the office for verification, after getting the tax declaration a slight relief was felt by us, and when Nelo lined to the first office we when through, we waited again and when he get back he told us to wait for my name to be called, again waiting for a couple of minutes, when i heard my name i immediatley went inside the office just to know that the owner haven't submmitted any land title, to our dismayed because our trip, time and money went for nothing, Nelo and JC just went home, and I atteded my class... and before, after and in between of my mis adventures of the day are little agian... mis advetures... WHAT A DAY! PLEASE FORGIVE MY ENGLISH AND GRAMMAR! I'M SLEEPY, EXHAUSTED AND FEELING DUMB ALREADY! GUD NIGHT!

Out of my League

Well... this past few weeks, my brain don't function well, i can't think clearly, i must admit, i'm out of my league, guess... too much of thingking of so many things makes me weary, i have lots of errands to finish, but i feel that i can't, my body is giving up, my mind is malfunctioning. Maybe i'm too depressed because of too much pressure, home, study, peers and to complete the list are those nuisance-aggravating pests! I need a break, i want to have a free time, i want to issolate myself anywhere, even just for one whole day! I need to unwind and re-compose my self, i want to get back my old me...

Sunday, July 09, 2006

another week...

another week had just pass, still pretending to forget everything... i though that if i mellow down at least they would stop, but the more i keep my mouth shut, ears closed and pretend to be dumb... the more they are provoking me... i must admit its not easy for me... i'm having a hard time, i think of them..., but life must go on.. they are not my world... don't care if they outnumbered me, thought i'm scared? nah...! maybe they are, why do they align with each other?! because on their own... they know i'm too much for them... too big for them... so, they help each other... what a retarded way of thinking...! but if i'm feeling this way and if this continue for more longer time... well... im sori, i just don't know what i can do to those jerks..., i'm not threating anyone, ok! it's just that everyone who was pushed to their limits can do unimaginable things... positively and negatively...

Tres Malditas

Helen, Me, Maan

Tuesday, July 04, 2006


Planet Mars will be brightest in the night sky starting August. It will look as large as the full moon to the naked eye. this will culminate on Aug.27 when Mars come to within 34.65M miles of Earth. Be sure to watch the sky on Aug.27, 12:30am. It will look like the Earth has two moons. The next time Mars may come this close is in 2287, Share this with your love ones and friends as NO ONE ALIVE TODAY will ever see it again.


whew! free time atlast!???? nah!