meaner or numb?

am i meaner now? too numb? i don't know..., sometimes i'm also wondering why my reaction to situation now is somehow different than i used to.

before, whenever i don't like what's happening around me, i easily react... impulsive... maybe, but i'm just saying that there is something i don't like or i feel uncomfrotable.

and now, i keep silent, letting things go by as what others want it... though sometimes i still react immidiately but not as frequent as before.

i don't know if it is a sign of maturity that i take time and think first before doing or saying something, or it's just that i'm sick and tired or reacting to something i don't know if worthy of my effort, and sometime leaving me i uncertainty position.